My dad died on Valentine’s Day from a cancer in his brain that he fought for a year and a half. I’ll talk about that more one day, but what I want to say now comes from the buildup and the fallout. What I want to say is not about the suffering and turmoil that I watched my dad and my family experience for that year and a half, or the milestones we hit every day that I never mentioned, like the last day he had ice cream or went outside. I want to talk about him and I will. But today, I want to talk about the aftermath. People don’t know what to say about death and dying. They tell you they’re sorry and they could never do what you’re doing, they tell you how strong you are and graceful you’re being, admire how you’re “back to work” or “still able to have fun”. Grievers are told time and time again, nobody knows what the right thing to say is. And we have grace. Giggle it off and nod our heads, tell them thank you and it’s okay. Because it is okay. They aren’t doing anything wrong t...
I sometimes wonder if she knows I heard she’d said this about me. It’s remarkable how someone I don’t think twice about can find something like this to say about me. Point 1: “nothing to be depressed about” You should always leave your hometown - doesn’t have to be forever. The reason being: you will never outgrow the reputation you gave yourself as a shitty high school teenager with some (probably undiagnosed) serious depression and attitude problems. Because truly, I think then, maybe I didn’t have anything to be depressed about. It’s subjective I guess, it feels bigger when you’re in it. At that time I think my major problem was outgrowing a big relationship in my life and a car accident that accidentally traumatized me for several years. I get that this is normal people stuff now. But I didn’t then. And it rocked me. It’s the whole reason I started writing this blog in the first place! I also think back then I might’ve had a lot of bad things to say at that time too. It’...