Sometimes when I am asleep, and the wind is coming in through the window of my childhood bedroom, I can almost feel you here. For a sleepover, the way we used to do all the time. It was just our clothes then, I didn’t know what was mine or yours. It was our day then, we never left each other’s sides. It was our life then, a pact that if we made it to 40 and were still single, we’d run away together and live on the beach in Mexico. I always wake up in a sweat from those dreams now. Now I live in your phone as an unknown cell number, I live in your photos as a girl you used to know. I live in that stain I left on the carpet of your truck when my bubblegum ice cream melted. Now I’m the most hated girl. For twenty-five years in a row. If you’ve never been the last choice friend, undiagnosed depression at a very young age, artsy but filled with melancholy girl, then you’ve never been the most hated girl. But I’ve worn her skin all my life. At first it was the separate group chat with 9 memb...
My friends tell me that my party trick is knowing every lyric to every song I've ever heard. It's among my favourite party tricks (others, not so much). But for some reason, I just LOVE music. A good backstory, a good hook, everything about everything. I wish everyone could feel music the way that I do. So when someone shows me a song, its a very special thing for me. I always think about all things it could mean for them. If they're trying to tell me something that way, or if they just like the vibes. I learn all the words so we can sing it together. So I can understand it and understand them, too. And for the rest of eternity I will think of them when it comes on. I'll think about that one snapchat video where we couldn't even hear the concert in the background over the sound of us screaming along to Jason Aldean in that dusty field. Or when Water Under the Bridge by Adele came out and we couldn't help but laugh about what it meant to love someone. I'll r...