Sometimes when I am asleep, and the wind is coming in through the window of my childhood bedroom, I can almost feel you here. For a sleepover, the way we used to do all the time. It was just our clothes then, I didn’t know what was mine or yours. It was our day then, we never left each other’s sides. It was our life then, a pact that if we made it to 40 and were still single, we’d run away together and live on the beach in Mexico. I always wake up in a sweat from those dreams now. Now I live in your phone as an unknown cell number, I live in your photos as a girl you used to know. I live in that stain I left on the carpet of your truck when my bubblegum ice cream melted. Now I’m the most hated girl. For twenty-five years in a row. If you’ve never been the last choice friend, undiagnosed depression at a very young age, artsy but filled with melancholy girl, then you’ve never been the most hated girl. But I’ve worn her skin all my life. At first it was the separate group chat with 9 memb...
The one where Haleigh meets Haleigh. Looking back on my nineteen post, I see a sprout of the Haleigh I spent this year becoming. And now I’m here, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it. Life in a year. fall: heartbreaker Twenty was the first year in a long time I spent all by myself. I believe it was in this alone time that I was able and open to meet new people. And did I ever meet new people. I must have fallen in love like forty times a day. With people, and life, and friends, and my journey. It’s crazy how much love I felt this time around. This fall was scary because I was falling out of love at the same time I was falling in. This was my mistake. I broke a heart or two or three. But if I’m being honest, one of those was my own, too. I thought I was ready to share myself with someone else and I wasn’t. And I felt like a liar. So I cut it all off. Pulled all the strings back and snipped. I needed to fill my bucket before I could share any more. That’s not to say I didn’t accide...