On the day I found out my dad had a year to live, I was standing at work, typing away stupidly about something I can’t remember now. And in an instant, I was catapulted into a terrible grief I knew nothing about. Like a dark room I’d never entered, feeling my way around. Gemma called my boss, my colleagues, and my best friends. Ordering one to give me time off, to get coffee, and to buy moving boxes. In the apartment, I couldn’t even remember my own name. Gemma found my passport, called my sister and arranged a pick up, and booked my flight for the next morning. Early but not too early, because she said I needed sleep. How do I even begin to pack right now? Gemma told everyone what to do. She put on my favourite songs, Taylor Swift, whom she didn’t particularly care for, and made the executive decision to toss my near-empty shampoo bottles. We walked through a handful of outfits I’d need - certainly comfy ones - as Gemma proposed. And when I’d come back to collect my t...
“Every time you are vulnerable about something, it normalizes it for someone else.” So let’s get really, really vulnerable for a few minutes. A few days ago, someone I look up to told me I didn’t have a purpose in life. Actually, the exact sentence was “you need to start waking up with a purpose in life.” Huh?? I mean, on the surface I guess that’s supposed to sound...encouraging. But no. Because it was a person I look up to and value, that sentence made me so angry at first. And then beyond devastated. A purpose in life? What are you talking about?? Looking at my life on paper, I haven’t had a job for 5 months. I haven’t hung out with a lot of new people. I don’t go to the gym. I don’t have a lot of money saved. From that perspective, I guess my life doesn’t really have a purpose. Or “value.” But for those of you who have followed my journey-whether by my blog or just knowing me-through my mental health and well-being, along with some (fairly large and traumatic) life events, you woul...