My dad died on Valentine’s Day from a cancer in his brain that he fought for a year and a half. I’ll talk about that more one day, but what I want to say now comes from the buildup and the fallout. What I want to say is not about the suffering and turmoil that I watched my dad and my family experience for that year and a half, or the milestones we hit every day that I never mentioned, like the last day he had ice cream or went outside. I want to talk about him and I will. But today, I want to talk about the aftermath. People don’t know what to say about death and dying. They tell you they’re sorry and they could never do what you’re doing, they tell you how strong you are and graceful you’re being, admire how you’re “back to work” or “still able to have fun”. Grievers are told time and time again, nobody knows what the right thing to say is. And we have grace. Giggle it off and nod our heads, tell them thank you and it’s okay. Because it is okay. They aren’t doing anything wrong t...
“Every time you are vulnerable about something, it normalizes it for someone else.” So let’s get really, really vulnerable for a few minutes. A few days ago, someone I look up to told me I didn’t have a purpose in life. Actually, the exact sentence was “you need to start waking up with a purpose in life.” Huh?? I mean, on the surface I guess that’s supposed to sound...encouraging. But no. Because it was a person I look up to and value, that sentence made me so angry at first. And then beyond devastated. A purpose in life? What are you talking about?? Looking at my life on paper, I haven’t had a job for 5 months. I haven’t hung out with a lot of new people. I don’t go to the gym. I don’t have a lot of money saved. From that perspective, I guess my life doesn’t really have a purpose. Or “value.” But for those of you who have followed my journey-whether by my blog or just knowing me-through my mental health and well-being, along with some (fairly large and traumatic) life events, you woul...