Sometimes when I am asleep, and the wind is coming in through the window of my childhood bedroom, I can almost feel you here. For a sleepover, the way we used to do all the time. It was just our clothes then, I didn’t know what was mine or yours. It was our day then, we never left each other’s sides. It was our life then, a pact that if we made it to 40 and were still single, we’d run away together and live on the beach in Mexico. I always wake up in a sweat from those dreams now. Now I live in your phone as an unknown cell number, I live in your photos as a girl you used to know. I live in that stain I left on the carpet of your truck when my bubblegum ice cream melted. Now I’m the most hated girl. For twenty-five years in a row. If you’ve never been the last choice friend, undiagnosed depression at a very young age, artsy but filled with melancholy girl, then you’ve never been the most hated girl. But I’ve worn her skin all my life. At first it was the separate group chat with 9 memb...
nothing gold can stay nature's first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold. her early leaf's a flower; but only so an hour. then leaf subsides to leaf. so Eden sank to grief, so dawn goes down to day. nothing gold can stay Do you think it's possible that Robert Frost wrote this specifically for me at age 20? If any of you ever read The Outsiders in high school, then you would obviously remember the famous line, "stay gold, Ponyboy." I won't spoil the context for you, but if you need something to read I highly recommend. Anyways, they were of course, referencing 'Nothing Gold Can Stay.' It was Johnny's way of telling Ponyboy to stay young, innocent, gold. Okay, with the 11th grade English lesson over with, let me tell you why I really wanted to talk about this. I've written a lot about letting go. Letting go of people that hurt you, things that felt heavy, grudges, and bad days. But for some reason, this one po...