how to be the CEO of getting rejected (take it from me)

Yuck. 

When I think of the word rejected I just think of that one episode of Zoey 101 where they follow that guy around chanting “RE-JE-CT-ED YEAH YOU JUST GOT REJECTED!!” It haunts me. HAUNTS me.

Y’all I dunno if I wanna talk about this it hurts my feelingsssssss.

Okay screw it fine.*long sigh* 

I got my feelings hurt (cue the worlds tiniest violin). I’m talking HURT hurt. CEO of getting rejected. BIG ouch. Anyways. 

Rejection is one of those weird things. You know what it reminds me of? Being like, 11 and you fall off the swing set and you actually got hurt but you just start to laugh and jump in circles and act like you’re not hurt even though your ears are ringing and you can’t feel your elbow. 

It’s like that.

It’s the worlds largest cringe. Like all of the oceans on this earth just rear up and vomit into one giant cringe tsunami.

When I face rejection, I want to puke, cry, hide, and die all at the same time.

I think the reason it hurts so much is because you just put yourself out there, neck on the chopping block, and...down comes the guillotine. Like you knew it COULD happen, TECHNICALLY...but you’re still like???? Wtf are you kidding me?

I’m not even talking romantically. I get all of the above ^ feelings even just ordering food at the front of a lineup and they say “sorry we’re all out of that.”

Wanna talk romance though, just for a sec?

Here is a strongly worded piece of advice that literally not a single soul asked for:

If you are not planning on keeping that person around for a while, do not get involved.

If you are going to cheat on that person, please break up with them instead.

If you are planning to talk to someone for months only to realize that “hmm I might not be ready” DO NOT TALK TO THEM.

If you are going to lie to that poor person in any way shape or form just DON'T OKAY?!

For the love of god. Don’t reject people that put their neck on the chopping block.

Now, unless every single soul on the face of the planet takes that advice, odds are you’re going to get...re...rejec🤢...rejected 🤮at some point in your life.

The good news?

You can actually survive it. And here’s how.

First, you gotta feel the sucky-ness of it all. You gotta let your face go red, let your stomach tie up in knots, let yourself cry, feel it all. This is a big, important step. We’ll get to the why later.

Second, you will need to put it out of your mind for as long as you can. If you’re like me, that length of time might only be ten seconds. But ! That is ten stress-free seconds and that’s a great place to start. You can also try doing some other work, going on a walk & leaving your phone at home, or having a nap.

Third (this step comes after you’re able to put it out of your mind for most parts of the day) when it hits you in waves, let yourself make a yucky cringey face. I KNOW this sounds weird. Yes, you will look like a sociopath. No you cannot skip this step. Let the emotion out. OUCH that hurt (ouch face), yuck that’s embarrassing (icky face), screw that person for rejecting me (middle finger) see what I’m saying?? This step is WHACK. I know. But it actually works.

Four. Find comfort in the fact that everyone, literally everyone, faces rejection and all the horrible ickiness that comes with it. The people you look up to, the cool friend, that hot girl from class, everyone. And everyone gets through it too. 

Know that literally nobody in the world besides you sees this rejection as big as it feels to you. That’s not to say you’re not allowed to feel it really big, but that’s just to say that you can feel it completely on your own terms, and recognize that more likely that not, you don’t have any eyes on you, judging the way you react to it. 

The reason why you’ve gotta let yourself feel it is so that next time (yes, sadly, there will likely be a next time) you’ll know that all of your feelings are normal and you know what to expect. So you can repeat the steps.

On the real though. The toughest lesson I’ve learned so far (among, like, a lot of tough lessons) is that you just have to keep going. Keep being that goofy, brave, risk-taking little self that you are and sometimes...SOMEtimes, things will go the way you want them to. Like my roommate says, you win some, you lose most. It’ll make all the rejection worth it.

And that goes for absolutely everything in life too, I suppose. 

**note to self** for next time, be a little more choose-y about who you put your neck on the chopping block for.

Hey, universe?? Hi. So now that I learned this life lesson can we just uhh...cut it out?