Sometimes when I am asleep, and the wind is coming in through the window of my childhood bedroom, I can almost feel you here. For a sleepover, the way we used to do all the time. It was just our clothes then, I didn’t know what was mine or yours. It was our day then, we never left each other’s sides. It was our life then, a pact that if we made it to 40 and were still single, we’d run away together and live on the beach in Mexico. I always wake up in a sweat from those dreams now. Now I live in your phone as an unknown cell number, I live in your photos as a girl you used to know. I live in that stain I left on the carpet of your truck when my bubblegum ice cream melted. Now I’m the most hated girl. For twenty-five years in a row. If you’ve never been the last choice friend, undiagnosed depression at a very young age, artsy but filled with melancholy girl, then you’ve never been the most hated girl. But I’ve worn her skin all my life. At first it was the separate group chat with 9 memb...
Yuck. When I think of the word rejected I just think of that one episode of Zoey 101 where they follow that guy around chanting “RE-JE-CT-ED YEAH YOU JUST GOT REJECTED!!” It haunts me. HAUNTS me. Y’all I dunno if I wanna talk about this it hurts my feelingsssssss. Okay screw it fine.*long sigh* I got my feelings hurt (cue the worlds tiniest violin). I’m talking HURT hurt. CEO of getting rejected. BIG ouch. Anyways. Rejection is one of those weird things. You know what it reminds me of? Being like, 11 and you fall off the swing set and you actually got hurt but you just start to laugh and jump in circles and act like you’re not hurt even though your ears are ringing and you can’t feel your elbow. It’s like that. It’s the worlds largest cringe. Like all of the oceans on this earth just rear up and vomit into one giant cringe tsunami. When I face rejection, I want to puke, cry, hide, and die all at the same time. I think the ...