On the day I found out my dad had a year to live, I was standing at work, typing away stupidly about something I can’t remember now. And in an instant, I was catapulted into a terrible grief I knew nothing about. Like a dark room I’d never entered, feeling my way around. Gemma called my boss, my colleagues, and my best friends. Ordering one to give me time off, to get coffee, and to buy moving boxes. In the apartment, I couldn’t even remember my own name. Gemma found my passport, called my sister and arranged a pick up, and booked my flight for the next morning. Early but not too early, because she said I needed sleep. How do I even begin to pack right now? Gemma told everyone what to do. She put on my favourite songs, Taylor Swift, whom she didn’t particularly care for, and made the executive decision to toss my near-empty shampoo bottles. We walked through a handful of outfits I’d need - certainly comfy ones - as Gemma proposed. And when I’d come back to collect my t...
At midnight on New Years of 2018 I told myself that 2019 was going to be different. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be better, I just had to make some changes, and at the time I wasn’t sure what that meant for me. It’s been hard to write this honestly, because it messes up a lot of old feelings I spent a long time trying to sort out. 2019 was a huge year. January 14 I started my blog. February 28 Learned how to change a car battery. March 17 Became a fashion icon. April 3 Chased some rainbows. May 4 Danced with tears in my eyes. May 19 Gave 30 tattoos. June 1 Dyed my hair bleach. mf. blonde. June 26 First professional work trip. July 23 First day with no anxiety since October 4, 2018. August 5 Good music. New best friends. August 10 Ice cream & massive life decisions. August 24 First taste of freedom. September 7 Enjoying the company of my best friends. Just really, deeply enjoy...