My dad died on Valentine’s Day from a cancer in his brain that he fought for a year and a half. I’ll talk about that more one day, but what I want to say now comes from the buildup and the fallout. What I want to say is not about the suffering and turmoil that I watched my dad and my family experience for that year and a half, or the milestones we hit every day that I never mentioned, like the last day he had ice cream or went outside. I want to talk about him and I will. But today, I want to talk about the aftermath. People don’t know what to say about death and dying. They tell you they’re sorry and they could never do what you’re doing, they tell you how strong you are and graceful you’re being, admire how you’re “back to work” or “still able to have fun”. Grievers are told time and time again, nobody knows what the right thing to say is. And we have grace. Giggle it off and nod our heads, tell them thank you and it’s okay. Because it is okay. They aren’t doing anything wrong t...
At midnight on New Years of 2018 I told myself that 2019 was going to be different. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be better, I just had to make some changes, and at the time I wasn’t sure what that meant for me. It’s been hard to write this honestly, because it messes up a lot of old feelings I spent a long time trying to sort out. 2019 was a huge year. January 14 I started my blog. February 28 Learned how to change a car battery. March 17 Became a fashion icon. April 3 Chased some rainbows. May 4 Danced with tears in my eyes. May 19 Gave 30 tattoos. June 1 Dyed my hair bleach. mf. blonde. June 26 First professional work trip. July 23 First day with no anxiety since October 4, 2018. August 5 Good music. New best friends. August 10 Ice cream & massive life decisions. August 24 First taste of freedom. September 7 Enjoying the company of my best friends. Just really, deeply enjoy...