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thirteen things I know for certain

Me: *has been 20 for a month*
Also me: HOw to FiND youRsElF In YouR tWentiES

Let’s get this out of the way. This is NOT a how-to. I am fully confident enough to tell you I have no idea what I’m doing. Cheers.

You don’t need to be 20 to be confused about who you are. I feel like the only people on the earth who know who they are is like Kim Kardashian and D*nald Tr*mp. 

People just don’t tell you what you actually need to know. So here I am, like slightly more aware than I was yesterday, and I’m gonna tell you some things I KNOW to be true as of now. 

1. Heartache is...weirder than people tell you it is. There’s a lot of Pinterest quotes that romanticize the hell out of heartbreak but it’s not like that. It’s getting way too drunk at a party and feeling 10x worse than you ever did before. It’s “SCREW THEM” and “I miss them” in a span of ten minutes. It’s the space between being a free spirit, living your life, following your heart, and wondering if your heart is even right or if that b*tch is really messing with you today. The cure? Good music. Taking things slow. Feeling pretty when you leave the house (whatever that means for you), and just knowing that some days are gonna be easier than others. You’re so damn brave, go you. 

2. It’s really not that serious. Not to be a complete meme but life is not that serious. I swear, people really are trying to make things bigger than they are, arguing to argue and finding drama where there isn’t any. If you learn anything while you’re young let it be that you shouldn’t take life so deep. Let stupid things roll off your back, you have better things to worry about like...watching paint dry or grass grow. 

3. Get a weighted blanket. That’s all. That’s life lesson number three. 

4. Tell people they’re pretty. Tell them you love the way those jeans fit on them and you wish you could pull off that hat. Get over your social anxiety at least enough to do this because I swear, it makes you feel so good to be a little bit of sunshine for someone. 

5. Boys are lowkey super weird but it’s just because they’re...how do I say this...boys. But don’t let this stop you from saying hi. If you want a good add-on for that you could say: please buy me a drink! Or something like that. And people if he doesn’t at least TRY to dance with you, get the hell out of there. We don’t mess with that noise. 

6. If a cop pulls you over for texting and driving and you’re just actually eating a piece of toast and then you get out of the car and shatter your phone all before your first day of work, good luck Charlie. Get some pizza for dinner and call it a day. 

7. Singing HARD to “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood is an incredibly inexpensive form of therapy. 

8. Momma knows best. She always did. She always will. 

9. You will transfer back and forth between feeling like a 9 year old and middle aged mom at least three time’s a day. I think 20 isn’t even really an age it’s just a time for you to play with your old barbies but like also do your taxes on the same day. 

10. Moving on from anything — aka change — is hard as hell. NO-BO-DY emphasizes this enough. You think for one second like okay I’m good I’ve got this and in the next instant you’re suddenly on a carousel but it’s moving at the speed of a jet plane and you’re high on LSD. It’s so hard for humans. If I could give all of you a sweet little kiss on the forehead and tell you that it’ll slow down I would but it would be a lie. The only thing I can say for certain is that time does make it easier and that is a fact. Cross my heart. 

11. Responding > Reacting. Learn how to act in certain situations. You can scream in to your pillow when you get home but in the moment let’s at least try to act like we are not complete psychopaths for two seconds. Respond now, react later. This way you won’t end up crying to Shouldn’t Have Said It by Julia Michaels for 19 hours straight. 

12. There are, in fact, plenty of fish in the sea. I know that was your favourite fish, and they were so cool and pretty but straight up, there are so many cool fish. Screw a fish. Find a shark! Or like a mermaid or something. Idk. Maybe get out of your little area too. (Sorry if you feel attacked) but there are actually fish that live outside of your pond! You just gotta be willing to look. 

13. I don’t want to end on 13 but I think this is the perfect time to tell you that the last thing I know for certain is that you will spend the rest of your entire life with yourself. And you should try as hard as you freaking can to get along with that little voice in your head because you deserve it so much. Find at least one thing that makes you happy. And if you can’t, please go get some help. Counselling is like a big hug and I promise you will not regret it. Me and my head finally made a little bit of peace (that girl can fight) and that’s the best thing I’ve done for myself in a long damn time.

You’ll find that, from time to time, the knot in your stomach will hurt more than it sometimes does. And these days will be really hard. But you’ve just got to remember that so many people love you, and this is the time when you reach out to a friend and ask them to just be with you. Just be. Tomorrow you will be okay, and that is the one thing that will always remain constant.

If you feel like you’ve got nobody rooting for you, I’m rooting for you. If you miss your fish, I will never let you swim alone. You’re not supposed to know anything right now. Now’s your time to be selfish as hell. And spoiled. And kind. And loving to people especially yourself. I gotchu. The rest of us twenty somethings gotchu. 

How’s THAT for being 20.



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