Sometimes when I am asleep, and the wind is coming in through the window of my childhood bedroom, I can almost feel you here. For a sleepover, the way we used to do all the time. It was just our clothes then, I didn’t know what was mine or yours. It was our day then, we never left each other’s sides. It was our life then, a pact that if we made it to 40 and were still single, we’d run away together and live on the beach in Mexico. I always wake up in a sweat from those dreams now. Now I live in your phone as an unknown cell number, I live in your photos as a girl you used to know. I live in that stain I left on the carpet of your truck when my bubblegum ice cream melted. Now I’m the most hated girl. For twenty-five years in a row. If you’ve never been the last choice friend, undiagnosed depression at a very young age, artsy but filled with melancholy girl, then you’ve never been the most hated girl. But I’ve worn her skin all my life. At first it was the separate group chat with 9 memb...
Me: *has been 20 for a month* Also me: HOw to FiND youRsElF In YouR tWentiES Let’s get this out of the way. This is NOT a how-to. I am fully confident enough to tell you I have no idea what I’m doing. Cheers. You don’t need to be 20 to be confused about who you are. I feel like the only people on the earth who know who they are is like Kim Kardashian and D*nald Tr*mp. People just don’t tell you what you actually need to know. So here I am, like slightly more aware than I was yesterday, and I’m gonna tell you some things I KNOW to be true as of now. 1. Heartache is...weirder than people tell you it is. There’s a lot of Pinterest quotes that romanticize the hell out of heartbreak but it’s not like that. It’s getting way too drunk at a party and feeling 10x worse than you ever did before. It’s “SCREW THEM” and “I miss them” in a span of ten minutes. It’s the space between being a free spirit, living your life, following your heart, and wondering if your heart is even ...