I find the easiest way for me to describe my point is through a story.... which, if you’ve been here a while, is common in almost everything I do.
In my last year of high school, I decided to throw a party for me and all my girl friends. I was going to invite my “close” group, or the people I’ve known since, like, forever, and then I thought, why not just invite all the fun people I’ve wanted to get to know at the same time?
Thank god I did.
Because after I had went out after work and bought a bunch party supplies, decorations, snacks, set up the music, got everything ready, I got a text message that would eventually change my life forever, as little as it seems.
I opened my phone to find that one of my best friends was going to have her own party. 3 hours before mine was set to start. I was doing my hair in my bedroom and my stomach sank to the floor. I felt so dumb. Why why why why would my friends do this to me????
Okay, I get it I HaVE sO MAny PrObleMs, but I was sad okay? These were my besties, and they were so quick to ditch...no questions asked.
I shut off my hair straightener and crawled into bed. I just wanted to forget this whole night ever happened.
But in the midst of my worst ever nightmare, I got a text from a girl I’d barely even known at the time, and she said “I’m on my way, I brought us some outfits to wear!!” I didn't even know her at the time. Yet somehow, she made me feel so important.
Suddenly, my panic slipped away, and I thought maybe I could save this night after all.
So she showed up. She made me a funky drink, gave me a hug, and turned the music on. She wasn't thrown off by the fact that I was in a bad mood, she just did her best to make me feel better. And it worked. Then a bunch more girls came. They all brought games, snacks, and gave me hugs because they’d heard what happened.
You know what?
Not a single one, let me repeat that, not a single one of my “close” friends showed up that night. Or even texted to let me know why. Or ask if I was okay.
You know what else?
It was one of the best nights of my entire life.
MY. ENTIRE. LIFE.
There was no “past reputation,” they had no secret agenda, there was no fighting, secrets, leaving to the bathroom to "talk" for 30 minutes, no reason to feel anything other than happy to meet new friends. We created a bond that night together that gave my life a completely different meaning.
And I realized that night that I didn’t need to depend on the group of people that I had depended on for so long. I didn’t need to feel so upset when they didn’t want to hang out with me, because I was happy to hang out with me. And I had friends who actually enjoyed my presence. And asked me to hang out first.
In my last year of high school, I decided to throw a party for me and all my girl friends. I was going to invite my “close” group, or the people I’ve known since, like, forever, and then I thought, why not just invite all the fun people I’ve wanted to get to know at the same time?
Thank god I did.
Because after I had went out after work and bought a bunch party supplies, decorations, snacks, set up the music, got everything ready, I got a text message that would eventually change my life forever, as little as it seems.
I opened my phone to find that one of my best friends was going to have her own party. 3 hours before mine was set to start. I was doing my hair in my bedroom and my stomach sank to the floor. I felt so dumb. Why why why why would my friends do this to me????
Okay, I get it I HaVE sO MAny PrObleMs, but I was sad okay? These were my besties, and they were so quick to ditch...no questions asked.
I shut off my hair straightener and crawled into bed. I just wanted to forget this whole night ever happened.
But in the midst of my worst ever nightmare, I got a text from a girl I’d barely even known at the time, and she said “I’m on my way, I brought us some outfits to wear!!” I didn't even know her at the time. Yet somehow, she made me feel so important.
Suddenly, my panic slipped away, and I thought maybe I could save this night after all.
So she showed up. She made me a funky drink, gave me a hug, and turned the music on. She wasn't thrown off by the fact that I was in a bad mood, she just did her best to make me feel better. And it worked. Then a bunch more girls came. They all brought games, snacks, and gave me hugs because they’d heard what happened.
You know what?
Not a single one, let me repeat that, not a single one of my “close” friends showed up that night. Or even texted to let me know why. Or ask if I was okay.
You know what else?
It was one of the best nights of my entire life.
MY. ENTIRE. LIFE.
There was no “past reputation,” they had no secret agenda, there was no fighting, secrets, leaving to the bathroom to "talk" for 30 minutes, no reason to feel anything other than happy to meet new friends. We created a bond that night together that gave my life a completely different meaning.
And I realized that night that I didn’t need to depend on the group of people that I had depended on for so long. I didn’t need to feel so upset when they didn’t want to hang out with me, because I was happy to hang out with me. And I had friends who actually enjoyed my presence. And asked me to hang out first.
This is not to say they were bad friends. They weren't at all. Hell, I get wanting to do the, "more fun" thing, or do what everyone else is doing. And they are still some of my best friends, after everything.
What I’m saying is that I see people who are SO scared to do anything other than what they’re used to. They hang out with the same old people, do the same old things, and talk the same old sh*t that they always talked.
And there’s nothing wrong with that, I mean, friends can be family. But at some point, those people will realize that there’s more out there for them.
I just feel bad for them, because they spend their lives blocking people out of their clique, only knowing the depths of their group chats.
I just feel bad for them, because they spend their lives blocking people out of their clique, only knowing the depths of their group chats.
I'm not perfect. I've never claimed to be. I get upset out of nowhere sometimes it seems. I feel the bluest of all blues. I'm not a perfect friend. But I will never stop trying. And if there's people out there reading this, thinking, "I wish we could hang out," text them! Text me! Come find me at a party! Come swimming at my house! I love you and I want to be your friend, I promise.
I hope you text the person you’ve wanted to be friends with but you’re too scared to step out of your comfort zone. I hope you miss out on a gathering or two to get back to feeling like yourself, I promise you will NOT be missing out on much. I hope you learn that there’s more to life than the
group you know so well.
Because I thought that was the best I could get. Little did I know, when things were falling apart, they were actually coming together.
Hi friends, if you're reading this, I love you to the moon and back times a gazillion.
Comments
Post a Comment