Those people. You know the ones. They're bad. They don’t call you unless they
need something, they are socially unaware, they spend their days in
self-absorbed harmony with themselves and those around them.
It’s the ones who are constantly raining on your parade. Forgetting to acknowledge your existence. Talking bad behind your back to mutual friends.
Bad people. You know the ones.
If you’ve begun to get a person in mind of who this may be for you, I’m sorry. But I have good news.
I’m here to tell you it gets better.
Growing up, that person for me was a lot of different people. And l’ll deny it if you tell anyone, but at one point, the bad person was me.
But at other points in my life, I spent a lot of time wondering if, maybe I was the common denominator. Maybe I was the person who was the bad person to those around me.
Well, my friends, I’ve realized a lot since then.
For a long time, until maybe last year in fact, I was caught up in wondering, “why didn’t I get invited?” “Why didn’t they return the favour?” “When did they unfollow me?”
Those kinds of thoughts will drive you crazy. They will drive you in to believing that you’re the bad person. Trust me, you’re probably not.
Oftentimes, people attack you, or hate you, or resent you for things they love about you. Things they are jealous about. It’s common and it’s stupid.
The truth though, is that people hate to see you doing good. They hate to see you moving on, finding other people, making memories without them, thriving, basically. Some people will tear apart anything they can just so they feel better.
Gross, right?
Well, like I said earlier, it gets better. Whether you’re the bad person, or a victim of one of them, things will change.
I made a step-by-step plan for you.
Step 1 Recognize. Is it you? Is it someone around you? You need to recognize who is really the problem. You can do this by asking yourself one simple question every day. “Was I the best me I could possibly be today?” If the answer is yes, it’s not you. If the answer is no, you either just had a bad day....or you suck. Either way.
Step 2 Cut them OFF! What I did when I recognized that I let bad people get close to me, is let go. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Honestly. Letting go of people you love is hard. But loving people who don’t love you back is asking for pain. You will feel so much better in the long run. They will be sorry (trust me on this one).
Step 3 Work on you. I won’t go into detail, because everyone has a different version of what it means to work on yourself. For me, it means reminding myself who is good and who is bad. And reminding myself to be patient with those who are bad, because they might be going through a rough time. (And no, 5 years is not a rough time!!!)
Step 4 Be picky. Be picky with who you let into your life. Of course, let everyone in, make everyone feel comfortable, make everyone feel loved. But be picky with who you choose to tell your sucky stuff too. Bad people love to use your sucky stuff against you.
Step 5 Have fun!! Be civilized. Cutting people off doesn’t mean it has to end on bad terms. You can stop speaking to someone and still be happy for them. Hey, even bad people can be fun to be around for a while. But like step 4 says, be careful with who you let get close to you. I’ve made that mistake. We all have.
Step 6 Some people change. They stop being toxic. They grow. It’s okay to give people a second chance. (Maybe not a 9th and a 10th chance) But you’ll know.
Yes, there’s a point to this.
My motto is to love people so much, and see the best in them until they show you the worst. Treat people like you want to be treated. And treat your own self with some respect.
Treat yourself like you would treat a child. If that was your child, befriending monsters, would you let them?
I'm one of the lucky ones. I made mistakes, but I'm learning. And I have some pretty incredible people around me. Good people.
Not everyone is out to get you. But for those who are, don’t be afraid to let them know you’re a force to be reckoned with.
I’ll finish this off with an ode, to those who may feel attacked by this post.
“If you wanted people to write warmly about you, you should’ve behaved better.”
It’s the ones who are constantly raining on your parade. Forgetting to acknowledge your existence. Talking bad behind your back to mutual friends.
Bad people. You know the ones.
If you’ve begun to get a person in mind of who this may be for you, I’m sorry. But I have good news.
I’m here to tell you it gets better.
Growing up, that person for me was a lot of different people. And l’ll deny it if you tell anyone, but at one point, the bad person was me.
But at other points in my life, I spent a lot of time wondering if, maybe I was the common denominator. Maybe I was the person who was the bad person to those around me.
Well, my friends, I’ve realized a lot since then.
For a long time, until maybe last year in fact, I was caught up in wondering, “why didn’t I get invited?” “Why didn’t they return the favour?” “When did they unfollow me?”
Those kinds of thoughts will drive you crazy. They will drive you in to believing that you’re the bad person. Trust me, you’re probably not.
Oftentimes, people attack you, or hate you, or resent you for things they love about you. Things they are jealous about. It’s common and it’s stupid.
The truth though, is that people hate to see you doing good. They hate to see you moving on, finding other people, making memories without them, thriving, basically. Some people will tear apart anything they can just so they feel better.
Gross, right?
Well, like I said earlier, it gets better. Whether you’re the bad person, or a victim of one of them, things will change.
I made a step-by-step plan for you.
Step 1 Recognize. Is it you? Is it someone around you? You need to recognize who is really the problem. You can do this by asking yourself one simple question every day. “Was I the best me I could possibly be today?” If the answer is yes, it’s not you. If the answer is no, you either just had a bad day....or you suck. Either way.
Step 2 Cut them OFF! What I did when I recognized that I let bad people get close to me, is let go. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Honestly. Letting go of people you love is hard. But loving people who don’t love you back is asking for pain. You will feel so much better in the long run. They will be sorry (trust me on this one).
Step 3 Work on you. I won’t go into detail, because everyone has a different version of what it means to work on yourself. For me, it means reminding myself who is good and who is bad. And reminding myself to be patient with those who are bad, because they might be going through a rough time. (And no, 5 years is not a rough time!!!)
Step 4 Be picky. Be picky with who you let into your life. Of course, let everyone in, make everyone feel comfortable, make everyone feel loved. But be picky with who you choose to tell your sucky stuff too. Bad people love to use your sucky stuff against you.
Step 5 Have fun!! Be civilized. Cutting people off doesn’t mean it has to end on bad terms. You can stop speaking to someone and still be happy for them. Hey, even bad people can be fun to be around for a while. But like step 4 says, be careful with who you let get close to you. I’ve made that mistake. We all have.
Step 6 Some people change. They stop being toxic. They grow. It’s okay to give people a second chance. (Maybe not a 9th and a 10th chance) But you’ll know.
Yes, there’s a point to this.
My motto is to love people so much, and see the best in them until they show you the worst. Treat people like you want to be treated. And treat your own self with some respect.
Treat yourself like you would treat a child. If that was your child, befriending monsters, would you let them?
I'm one of the lucky ones. I made mistakes, but I'm learning. And I have some pretty incredible people around me. Good people.
Not everyone is out to get you. But for those who are, don’t be afraid to let them know you’re a force to be reckoned with.
I’ll finish this off with an ode, to those who may feel attacked by this post.
“If you wanted people to write warmly about you, you should’ve behaved better.”
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